Maybe I Should Be Worried?

I think having a special needs child before Gabby is part of it.  She is perfectly healthy...and perfect in every way in my opinion.  She has met developmental milestones on time, for the most part.  I have been perfectly content with her cognitive skills, her vocabulary, problem solving skills and physical activity.  What is there to worry about then?  Well....I have recently noticed that my precious little tot refuses to want any part of the alphabet and/or numerical system.  Like right now, for example, Jeff is on the IPad with her trying to see how many letters she can recognize and trace with her finger.  Which tells me that he is, secretively, worried as well about this.  He is never one to fully show his worrisome side by the way.  During all of this, Gabby is screaming, throwing herself all over his lap and crying, "I don't want to do it", followed with, "Nooooo, I want to play Dora".  Ugh!  Strong willed.  Oh Yes!  But, how worried should I be about this? 

Gabby is in preschool two days per week for a grand total of 5 hours(2.5 hours per each day).  I know that school is never going to be 100% responsible for teaching my child everything she needs to know in life.  I am responsible, as her full-time caregiver, for following up on what is taught in school, redirecting her, teaching her right from wrong, helping her make good decisions, following through with consequences for her actions, teaching her to be polite, respectful...on so and so forth...  However, I am a little paranoid(ahem...I mean FREAKING OUT) at this very second about this whole numbers/letters thing.  Gabby is VERY(that is an understatement by the way)interested in preschool on TV(Nick Jr), her Leapster 2, IPad "fun games" and my cell phone applications that allow her to color.  She could spend 10 hours a day with minimal breaks occupying herself with these things if I did not intervene.  I do intervene by the way.  While all of these things are educational in some sort of way...they are not helping her learn her basic numbers/letters.  My goal is not to force her to be able to count to 1000 like a friend of mine who's son can do this.  Yes!  He can seriously count to 1000 and is 4.  I have seen it on video as proof.  WHAT!?!  I do, however, want Gabby to be able to count past 11 correctly and recognize her numbers 1-10.  I would like for her to be able to recognize her letters from A-Z....once again not too much to ask I don't think.  We will work on tracing them and writing them this summer or next school year. 

My point, besides the need to vent, is,  "Should I be worried about this"?  Or, "am I freaking out too soon"? 
Maybe I am over exaggerating?  Maybe I should sleep it off and I might feel better about this tomorrow?  But, it has been bothering me for a couple of days now to be completely honest.  I am REALLY trying not to compare my child to any others because Gabby has mastered many things that other children her age are not close to doing yet.  I am so proud of this...really!!  However, it is super hard not to watch other children and compare that child's skills to what your child can do.  Especially when you are surrounded by it everyday at the library, play dates, museums, restaurants, preschool, etc.  Isn't that what states, school systems and teachers base their curriculum, standards and plans on anyways....the rate at which the class is learning?  If Student A is progressing faster than Student B a teacher may slow things down for Student B to catch up.  Or maybe I am wrong all together with my way of thinking and the teacher would just refer the child to be tested or tutored or something...who knows...it has been a minute since I was in the teaching profession.  At any rate, I accept that no one child is exactly the same as the other.  Some learn faster than others, some learn through play and others might be visual learners.  I know Gabby is strong willed and chooses play to learn.  She listens, but you would never know it because she is occupying herself with other things at the same time.  She can repeat what you have said or tell you what just happened when you would never imagine she could do so.  I absolutely love that she has personality, character and can make any single person laugh at the drop of a hat.  She has a vocabulary that is out of this world.  I would not change a thing about my angel.  I just want to know that I am not a complete failure at this whole mom gig and need to re-assure myself that starting again with flashcards(because we are beginning these tomorrow morning) is okay.  I have not scarred her for life because we have not picked up the pack of numbers and letters in over 6 months.  I do have them...I promise.  My mother in law got them for me last year.  They might have dust on them, however, they are there.  I am looking at the cabinet they lie in right now!!

My sister in law always know the right things to say to reassure me that Gabby is okay.  So I really hope she reads this and calls me ASAP because I am having another one of those moments Amy!!  A moment where she probably wants to disown me and thinks, "where in the world did my brother find this girl"?  I pray that other moms have had these types of moments too?!  I also hope that I will look back at this post one day, smile and say, "why in the world did you waste so much time worrying about this"?

But, what if I don't???

xoxo, Katie